Sometimes You Gotta Pause and Breathe

I recorded my first On Her Terms Defined episode (which was episode 9, The Cost of Being Every Woman – SHE Confidential) on October 22, my furbaby Rio’s 16th birthday. Rio had been seriously ill for a few weeks and I’d been monitoring him for signs that it was time to say goodbye. And I had other personal things going on as it was 2020 which meant it was time for all the shit to hit the fan.

The morning of episode 9’s recording, I had a snafu at home which required an emergency repair. I briefly considered postponing recording the show given that my energy was way off now.
I remember pacing in the kitchen as I tend to do when I’m anxious and I knew I needed to just sit and breathe. So that’s what I did. I went to my room, lit a sage stick, sat on the floor with my phone and set a timer for five minutes.
During that five minutes, I inhaled deeply, held it for a few second before releasing. I tried to block all thoughts except for the focus on my breathing and repeating. When the alarm went off, I knew what I needed to do. Keep going as planned.
Over the two days that followed, I met and reconnected with some incredible women who reminded me of why I needed to show up instead of caving in to the heartache and emotional fatigue.
There are times when we need to retreat so that we can heal. Other times we need to press forward, fiercely. And then there are times we need to pause, breathe, re-center until the direction we need becomes clear.
Often our lives are too chaotic and much too loud for us to make these discernments. This is why it is supremely important to make time to learn to quiet your mind and listen to what your subconscious is screaming.
Otherwise, the message will manifest, physically, emotionally, and mentally, in the most unpleasant and often unhealthy ways.
Today my furbaby Rio is still with me and his furbro Riley making his demands for royal treatment abundantly known. I know that not much time remains for my comforting cuddles with him but instead of preliminary grieving, each day I choose to be grateful for yet another living light to love.
And this is also why I decide to show up for myself every day, even when I fall short the day before. Even when life tries to serve me lemons. Cause I know how to make the sweetest lemonade… after I pause and breathe.

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